My best friend Otis....
by Jeff Neppl
Just two days ago I had to put my best friend Otis down. He was a 13 year old Mini. This has been gut wrenching and extremely hard to cope with. I have been a complete mess, feeling guilty of wondering if I should of let him live longer but I know he was just staying alive for me and that's not fair to him. Otis had a liver disease and a heart condition and it was getting very hard for him to breath after the slightest activity. He was coughing and gagging real bad, especially the last 4 days.It just became unbearable to watch and listen to. He had an x ray last week and the news wasn't good at all. His heart and liver were pressing his lungs so that's what made it so hard to breath. Otis wouldn't take it easy either, he still did everything as normal but would cough and gasp for air. It was just so hard because he looked good still on the outside but inside was another story.
I don't think I have ever grieved like this in my life. The impact Otis had on me is more then I ever thought it could be. It just feels so empty and quiet in my house now without him. I also have a mini schnauzer mixed with mini dachshund and he is very sad right now as well. Otis was my shadow every moment I was near him, no matter what I was doing. Packing my lunch, he was right there, taking a shower, he would lay against the bathroom door. Anything I did.... and now it just don't feel right without that. Taking him to the vet for the final time was the hardest thing so have ever done in my life. I felt like I wanted to drift off with him, it was just so sad. I know he was starting to really suffer and I couldn't be selfish and keep him alive just so he can be with me.
I have lost dogs before and yes it was very painful and I was grieved but nothing like this. This dog literally saved my life before like an episode of Lassy. It's almost uncontrollable several times a day. I miss my boy more then I can put into words. I hope the pain gets less because this is making life difficult the last few days.
Sorry for such a long write up but it just kept coming out. Glad I found this page today.