Toto

by dreana
(budapest, hungary)

Mini Schnauzer Toto

Mini Schnauzer Toto

We brought home Toto from his mother when he was six weeks old. He felt himself right away at home he didn't even cry after his mother. He was always very brave, he never was afraid of anything nor any sound or dog, nothing. He survived so many things, babesiosis, dog attack, hit by a car, without complaint.

Toto enjoyed to be chased by us and loved long excursions. He gave grunt sounds when he was petted. When he saw and heard an ambulance car, he mimicked the siren sound. He was a house pet but when we were given a house with a garden for a week he became a watchdog right away and he wanted to protect even the telephone box near our fence.

Unfortunately two weeks ago he had an urinary obstruction, and the first vet convinced me that I was wrong, and he surely peed, only I didn't noticed. Next day I brought him to another vet, by then he couldn't walk. The vet solved the obstruction but he had not recovered, because of too much toxin in blood by then. He became comatose and I was told there wasn't hope for him to recover, so I brought him home from the hospital to die. I called a doctor for the next morning to put him sleep, but in the evening Toto drank water, milk, and ate much, and tried to get up. I helped him walk but we didn't succeed. After it he again sunk into comatose sleep. I intended to feed him in the morning but he again was sleeping very deeply he didn't wake up when I caressed him. I hoped that the vet would judge that his eating in the evening was a good sign and there is hope but he said the best thing is to put him to sleep, and it happened.

Since then I am in a desperate state I regret it so much, I think I would have had to give him one or two days for a chance. I miss him terribly he was a wonderful dear dog, my first and last one too. He would have been 16 years old in July, 21. My heart is broken.

Comments for Toto

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Jun 13, 2012
Toto's owner
by: dreana

Thank you very much for your words, you are all very good persons but I don't deserve it. I wish Toto would had a better owner. He had a wonderful life for 11.5 years. Then my son suffered brain injury, I nursed him since then and poor Toto was neglected though he was innocent but I always had been in a depressive state, I only took him walk but nothing more. He should have been offered for adoption. He became a little bit senile, had cataract and he didn't approached me anymore and I seldom caressed him. Only in his last two weeks got I closer to him again, when I nursed him too, and I understood how I still loved him and I wanted to do everything for him to recover, but it was too late. I never forgive myself. He would have deserved a better life. He had a true happy life for only 11.5 years.

Jun 12, 2012
I'm sorry for your loss
by: Daug Jones

This decision is THE hardest decision to make. I think it is normal to second guess yourself afterward as well. I know I did, and my dog clearly had cancer and was bleeding to death. Considering your dog's age, I think you did the right thing. Decisions of love are THE HARDEST to make. Your dog's quality of life was not good, and based on what you said, I would bet your dog was too sick to recover.
Rest easy now knowing that your beloved is at Rainbow Bridge, free of illness, playing with all those dogs who are waiting for the rest of us to join them. Toto knows how much you loved him and all the sacrifices you made. He is grateful and is waiting with a happy heart, and healthy body for that one day you two will be reunited.

Jun 12, 2012
Saying goodbye is so hard to do,even when it's the best thing to do :(
by: Amanda Langer

My heart goes out to you for your loss . I had to let my precious (also her name) pup of 15 yrs go and I have never felt such a gut wrenching pain like I did that day. Please take comfort in the fact that your beloved Toto is no longer in pain. My prayers are with you that one day you will love again. It took me about six years but it happened out of the clear blue. My heart went out to a tiny little poodle named boo AKA: sport model it was then and only then that I was able to open my heart again. My beloved Boo is also gone now but I have his daughter who is now 12 yrs old and she is my heart. I have also adopted a schauzer, Maybe you have read his story, he is also the love of my life. All of my best to you.

Jun 12, 2012
I know your pain...
by: Schnauzer Mom to 2

So sorry for your loss. As a Schnauzer parent, I too had to say good bye to a best friend that was only 11 years old. It broke my heart, I went into a deep depression. Such a very sad time for me. I would have been thrilled to have had my girl for 16 years. That is such a long life for a furbaby. Be blessed that you had Toto that long and you have so many memories. I was so lonely that I had to get another Schnauzer. But this time I got 2 girls. They are litter mates and they really took the pain away and are such lovers. Maybe someday you will be able to get another pup to love.

Jun 12, 2012
Sympathy on your loss
by: Beverly

I am so sorry for your loss of Toto. He loved you and you loved him. Cherish the memories you have. One day you will be able to smile at them. Gimli will be gone 5 years this Christmas eve and I still miss him like crazy.

Seems to me our hearts don't really heal, they just scab over. But, don't ever close your heart for that is why Toto loved you so much. He is always with you.

I read a book called "A Dog's Purpose" by Bruce Cameron and it really helped me heal.

You are in my thoughts and prayers. When I light a candle for Gimli I will light one for Toto.

Jun 12, 2012
Loss
by: Eddie Schnauzer

Sorry for your loss of a longtime companion, all of us dog(pet) parents know the pain of loss. There are no words I can say to take you out of the sadness that you are feeling.I would tell you to recall the happy times with Toto & to remember the love that Toto showed you. Remember the times spent together just having fun. Remember all of that & remember what you were feeling when those good times where upon you.All those feelings are real & they will be with you in your memories forever.
I look forward to seeing all my beloved pets that I have lost in Heaven someday, because that's where they are....

Jun 12, 2012
so sorry for your loss and feel your pain
by: Vicki mom to 3 schnauzers

Dogs come into our lives and we don't realize how much they become part of the family. Up until 2009, I had never owned a schnauzer but will never have another breed. Accept the amazing gift of unconditional life that Toto gave to you and know that he develoted his life to you without question and gave you everything there was to give. Realize that it is a loss, but recognize that you had 16 wonderful blessed years and can look back on the great times and know he will always be in your heart and guarding you still. Allow yourself time to grieve but don't be closed to the idea of another schnauzer. There will never ever be another Toto but there is another schnauzer out there with a great big heart who is waiting to make you his/her family. I hope you find some comfort in this and I know how hard it is to loose a loved one. Yes dogs count as family in my book. Condolences from South Carolina.

Jun 12, 2012
So sorry
by: chaco_kid

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, but love them, let them know they'll never be alone, and hold them so they feel secure and loved when they go.

You fought for Toto. I had to fight for my Misty too, when the Vet didn't seem to. They know and they are completely non-judgmental and pure love. I know Toto knows. And as a friend told me, they are always near, especially when you think of them.

Jun 12, 2012
condolences
by: mihaela

I know how it is to loose a dog. unfortunately, renal insuficience, due/ not related to an obstruction, is a condition that has very few, if any, treatment methods. the best one can obtain is a few more days of a life that is not your dog's life anymore. during his last days, it wasn't the toto you knew. it wasn't the chiquito I knew. it was only a suffering little soul, very poorly connected to the world. our dogs don't deserve to be punished by our love. letting him go, was the best thing you could do, in order to spare HIS suffering. not your's! you will learn to live with all the memories, of the good times and also of the most horrible, when he stopped breathing right in front of you. you will consume your grief, and you will survive. and he will allways be with you. thanking you for not letting him suffer, but instead taking his ordeal and putting it on your shoulders instead.

Jun 12, 2012
So sorry
by: Anonymous

I am deeply sorry for your loss. You loved him dearly and you wanted the best for him - even at the end. So you did what you thought was the right thing to do at the time. Please dont let regret taint the beautiful memories hou have of him. Forgive yourself and cherish the time you had him in your life. Hoping your heart heals in time.

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