LADY PHOEBE FROM KNIGHTON HOUSE

by Robert Seymour
(Essex, United Kingdom)

Yes - you might have guessed it. I'm from England, the land of grand houses, like Downton Abbey and so I have a title. No doubt you know that our Queen is fond of corgis so bear that in mind when you contemplate my lifestyle, although my poor owners in their house can't compete with Buckingham Palace. Still, they do live in a pleasant enough villa on the coast so I can't complain.

I'm told I possess the most wonderful tail which resembles a plume and wag it nearly all the time. However, I am in the habit of barking at people initially, not wishing to meet them until I've been properly introduced. This is an aversion which I share with the late Queen Victoria, although I don't expect them to hide in the bushes as she did, when not wanting to talk to someone.

I am extremely fond of my owners as they, as you would expect, are of me but I insist on high standards in the home. That means four walks a day (excusing myself in the garden would be very vulgar) and meals at set times. Bed time should never be later than 10 o'clock either, although occasionally my owners engage in "parties" which delay that most inconveniently.

Frankly, one of my greatest bugbears (even more than large dogs who will insist on paying me indelicate attention) is the TV. Unlike most dogs, I do watch the programmes and hate them all, particular those which feature planes, helicopters, trains, flying saucers and other horrible whizzing things. My tactic then is to withdraw to an inaccessible place behind a large table and refused to be coaxed out until a tasty treat is in the offing!

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